Couples Counseling in my Denver Sex Therapy practice:
Being in love is easy and thrilling. The sex associated with that time can be glorious. Staying coupled or
married is often difficult and tedious. The sex associated with it can be awkward and boring. I often hear
couples, in counseling sessions, say they want their marriage to be the way it was during their courtship.
One of the difficult realities of making a life together is accepting that that time will never come again. That
particular magic happens once in the life of a couple. Other kinds of magic can happen if a couple
continues to grow, meeting their commitments to themselves and to each other.
Whatever happened in your life prior to meeting your partner to create low self-esteem or unhappiness
with yourself is never going to change by trying to force your partner to give you your ideal love. Unhappy
marriages occur when people mistakenly believe that their partner must change in order to make them
happy in their relationship. That is the difference between courtship and marriage. During courtship you
fall in love with the idea of marriage in the abstract. In marriage you deal with the daily emotional and
logistical tasks necessary to love and respect yourself while attempting to love and respect someone else.
Falling in love is necessary for the continuance of our species. It is driven by pheromones, hormones,
physical and emotional desires. These are shunted through the social traditions, mores and ethics of our
respective cultures and societies. Being and staying married is a series of sustained acts that teach us
about who we really are and who we hope to be. It allows, due to its private nature, the privilege of
watching another human being unfold over a lifetime and allows us to be seen as our life unfolds in view of
our significant other. In short it allows us to be known to ourselves and another human being. It eases the
inherent loneliness of being human.
If you and your partner have lost your way on this journey of unfolding and are longing to be in love again,
come into counseling with me at Denver Sex Therapy. Let’s explore what kind of sex is on the other side of
falling in love. Learn to make love and have pleasure on purpose, not because you are swept away or
driven by hormones, but because you consciously, wantonly choose to give and receive pleasure.
Please click here for my article on Friendship is Key in Long Term Relationships
Please click here for my article on The Importance of African-American Centered Therapy
Call Denver Sex Therapy NOW! 303-333-4074
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Boulder, Colorado: Arvada, Aurora, Broomfield, Commerce City, Glendale, Englewood, Lakewood, Lafayette, Littleton,
Longmont, Louisville, Northglen, Sheridan, Thornton, Westminster, Wheat Ridge. We service the following Colorado counties:
Adams Count, Arapahoe County, Boulder County, Broomfield County, Douglas County, Jefferson County, Larimer County, and
Denver Sex Therapy--Couples Counseling
Take the first steps
to a healthy and
rewarding sexual life